The Fix

Black Friday is just around the corner, it’s my favorite shopping day of the year. It makes me feel empowered walking down to the register having people eye my cart with contempt. “Yeah I beat you to it”; it’s my competitive side.

Well the hot deal this year is supposed to be a 32” LCD from Target. I like to go to the store to see if I “really” want the T.V. or not. Just because it’s cheap doesn’t mean I should fork over the mullah. Today after going out to eat with my wife I asked her if she wanted to go for a walk inside the Target, it was chilly out and we could do some spending (take another look at the T.V.).

We were in front of the televisions and my wife says “Nick let’s hold out and buy a 52” instead. Most guys would go wow, I mean my wife actually said lets get a bigger television instead of saying get a smaller one or we already have one. There’s nothing wrong with a 52” television except for the part where we never hook them up. No cable, no satellite not even an antenna, nope all we hook up to them is a DVD player and turn it on about 1-2 times a month.

I suppose we’ll see what happens with the television. The best part though was when we were leaving the store. My wife has not had gum since she was pregnant. Something to do with the artificial sugars being bad for a baby while in the womb. She’s a gum addict, and she came running to the counter as I was paying and pretty much knocked over a few people trying to get there before I swiped the debit card.

It was a box of gum and she was excited to be getting gum again. The little Monster was out of his seat though and my wife placed the gum and a pacifier on it. I picked it up to make room so that she could place him on it. After he’s all buckled in and we’re outside she begins looking for the gum. I deny having it, and so she begins to look under the little Monster thinking that she sat him on it. We are out doors its 40 degrees and she’s standing still in the middle of the road looking for gum under our child.

I point out that she’s blocking traffic just standing there, and she proceeds with a slow walk. Never getting her hands from between the little Monster’s butt and the seat. Feeling around looking for the gum. Finally she gives up and just gets in the car. I take the shopping cart to its proper place and pop a piece of gum in my mouth.

Once in the car my wife starts ranting about not having her gum and how much she wants it. A few minutes later she says “I can even smell it, I smell mint I want some gum now”. I cant help it I begin laughing. I give her the box of gum, seeing her eat it; it’s like watching a drug addict get his latest and much needed fix.