The Fix

Black Friday is just around the corner, it’s my favorite shopping day of the year. It makes me feel empowered walking down to the register having people eye my cart with contempt. “Yeah I beat you to it”; it’s my competitive side.

Well the hot deal this year is supposed to be a 32” LCD from Target. I like to go to the store to see if I “really” want the T.V. or not. Just because it’s cheap doesn’t mean I should fork over the mullah. Today after going out to eat with my wife I asked her if she wanted to go for a walk inside the Target, it was chilly out and we could do some spending (take another look at the T.V.).

We were in front of the televisions and my wife says “Nick let’s hold out and buy a 52” instead. Most guys would go wow, I mean my wife actually said lets get a bigger television instead of saying get a smaller one or we already have one. There’s nothing wrong with a 52” television except for the part where we never hook them up. No cable, no satellite not even an antenna, nope all we hook up to them is a DVD player and turn it on about 1-2 times a month.

I suppose we’ll see what happens with the television. The best part though was when we were leaving the store. My wife has not had gum since she was pregnant. Something to do with the artificial sugars being bad for a baby while in the womb. She’s a gum addict, and she came running to the counter as I was paying and pretty much knocked over a few people trying to get there before I swiped the debit card.

It was a box of gum and she was excited to be getting gum again. The little Monster was out of his seat though and my wife placed the gum and a pacifier on it. I picked it up to make room so that she could place him on it. After he’s all buckled in and we’re outside she begins looking for the gum. I deny having it, and so she begins to look under the little Monster thinking that she sat him on it. We are out doors its 40 degrees and she’s standing still in the middle of the road looking for gum under our child.

I point out that she’s blocking traffic just standing there, and she proceeds with a slow walk. Never getting her hands from between the little Monster’s butt and the seat. Feeling around looking for the gum. Finally she gives up and just gets in the car. I take the shopping cart to its proper place and pop a piece of gum in my mouth.

Once in the car my wife starts ranting about not having her gum and how much she wants it. A few minutes later she says “I can even smell it, I smell mint I want some gum now”. I cant help it I begin laughing. I give her the box of gum, seeing her eat it; it’s like watching a drug addict get his latest and much needed fix.

My Sons First Pear

The Video says it all.

Monopoly

The Little Monster has taken every seat in the house. He has taken ownership of the jumper, swing set and the papasan. Yes those are all the seats in the house until yesterday. My wife finally got fed up with us not having any furniture. We sold and gave away most of our furniture when we moved from Nebraska to California.

We have been going to lots of furniture store’s that have been overpriced for quality workmanship and to stores that are underpriced with horrible furniture that seems as if it will fall apart after six months or so. Yesterday we went to a new furniture store that is owned by my parent’s neighbors. She took us thru out the store and told us which items to stay away from because they come from China and will not last. Finally we found the perfect balance.

Ouch the price tag was a bit hefty, not out of our range just more then we wanted to spend. Not to worry, she’s my parent’s neighbor and sure enough the hefty price tag vanished and came down drastically. That was the first time I did not have to negotiate a price, she just said this is the lowest point with me making a little profit.

When negotiating prices there has to be a balance between profit and what I’m willing to pay. No one wants to operate a business that loses money just because the product is being sold to a family member, friend or neighbor. The best part was when she said; I’ve already included the taxes into the price.

Now I just have to wait for her to call and say that her truck is ready to roll so that I can have them delivered. I’m not paying for the delivery; I’m using her truck. My wife wants to go back to purchase a bedroom set now.

Now we have seats of our own, until the Little Monster grows and claims those as well.

You know you have it made….

You know you have it made when your wife comes home from work and asks if you would like anything to eat, goes into the kitchen and prepares the only thing she knows how a sandwich.

She does not ask how your day went but instead says honey you look tense let me give you a foot rub. She takes time out of her schedule to appreciate the husband who sleeps in late and takes care of the children.

She takes even more time washing, drying, ironing, folding and putting your cloths away after work. Then asks, “Is this where you wanted your clothes? If not I can move them.”

Yes that’s the life she goes off to work the man stays behind and figures out how to spend the money. Then at the end of the day, after being exhausted from performing the childcare, have you wife come home and pamper you. I love being King of my own household.

Did I mention I moved a washer and dryer up the stairs, moved my wife’s china from 100 yards, and then carried it up stairs. Dealt with a crying toddler, while I ran off to the store to purchase a dryer vent hose, and washer hose. Removed the sliding glass door to install and adjust the washer and dryer. Re-install the sliding glass door, run to crying infant who wants a bottle NOW. Wash all the dishes; take out the trash, re-locate birds. Run back to the little Monster who now wants to be held all day.

I have an appointment to take my written test for California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation. I can’t wait to go back to my stress free environment of working with rapist’s, murderer’s, drug offenders, and the whole underbelly of society. That job is easy compared to being at home all day.